When I began freelancing several years ago, under the name AnabelJack, a Creative Services Co, I created this as a leave-behind to showcase my ideation, writing, layout and Photoshop chops. No one ever said it earned me a shot specifically, but I got at least one project from everyone I ever gave it to. It’s meant to be something fun for that spare ring binder on the shelf, wherein you stash miscellaneous stuff. Do you have a homely binder like that? You can download a PDF of the Office Oracle behind the cut if you like, and find the explanatory text and user’s guide I wrote for the back.

The Astonishing Amalgamation
of the Art of Divination
and a First-Rate Office Supply

For your edification and counsel, Hentosz Creative Services offers The Kitty’s Konscience, our astonishing office oracle. Now you no longer have to face important daily decisions alone and adrift. No matter what the situation, Hentosz Creative Services is your friend and wants you to be confident of doing right always.

The Kitty’s Konscience is a decision maker. Mentally assign “yes/no,” “heads/tails,” “yin/yang,” whatever, to the bad and good dogs. When the Oracle is in place as a binder cover insert, you can consult it by spinning a coin on the Kitty’s nose. Whichever side of the Oracle the coin comes to rest determines your answer (Fig.1).

You can use the Oracle all by itself (sans binder). Lay it flat on a clean desk. Ask your question and spin the card sharply. When the card stops spinning, the side of the Oracle closest to you determines your answer.

The Oracle also functions as a Oui-ja board. Simply Scotch™-tape a pen, pencil or PDA stylus to your computer mouse for a neat planchette. Concentrate and let the wisdom of the cosmos inspire your hand (Fig. 2). The Kitty’s Konscience will not pass moral judgement, it will simply provide guidance in the form of fact (you will have to provide the appropriate spaces), something along the lines of “JEFFHENTOSZCANBESTIMPLEMENT-
YOURMARKETINGPLAN” perhaps.

Disclaimer: Oracle guidance is non-binding.The answer you get may not be what you really wanted to hear, in which case go with your gut. Hentosz Creative Services does not condone the use of the letter “K” in a deliberate misspelling simply for cuteness’ sake; visual alliteration may seem like a good idea at first blush, but in the long run can only lead to escalated typographic atrocities such as “IM4U” and the like.

Download The Kitty’s Konscience PDF (2.5MB)